sparklybecky

adjusting to what life has sent my way, while rediscovering who i am

Can you be friends with your Ex??

How do two people who were once married to each other and supposedly madly in love stay friends after that marriage ends?

My ex and I get along fine as long as I agree with whatever he has to say about our minor child.  Once I have a different opinion, or voice in the matter, things change.  I get nasty emails, am told “I suck”, am told I make him look like an *ss, and other lovelys.

No, you can not stay friends with your ex.  At least I can’t.

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New House – week 3

Issues so far:

Ants in the kitchen.  Tried ant traps for the Scout ants to take poison back to the Worker ants and Queen.  All it seemed to do was attract more ants.  I knew I had to do something else when I started greeting them in the morning when I woke up and walked into the kitchen.  Finally got the ant spray.  I don’t know why I didn’t do that in the first place.  Within seconds the ants were taken care of.  I have left a few traps, just in case.

Lawn.  So the lawn was put in 2 1/2 weeks ago and has grown quite a bit.  I went out to mow today, but the lawn mower kept stalling out.  The grass is tall and very wet, because it rained today.  I forgot about the rain, because it was sunny at the time of trying to mow.  After stalling out the 4th time, I called my dad to see if it was because the grass was too tall, wet, or both.  I hated to make that phone call.  Since I got divorced, I am trying to do everything on my own.  I don’t want to look like I need help.  But my dad knows lawns, and it was a phone call that needed to be made.  He agreed the lawn was too wet and I should wait for it to dry up a little.  So now most of my grass is tall and there are a couple choppy rows, with chunks of wet cut grass lying around.  Oh well, I’ll be the beauty of the neighborhood for a day or two.

Mail.  My subdivision has clustered mailboxes by a neighborhood park.  I was never given a mailbox or key.  I didn’t worry about it at first because when you forward mail it takes a few days to a week.  But while waiting I contacted my realtor and even emailed the subdivision realtor and didn’t get any help.  I finally found the right realtor to talk to and am getting the keys to the mailbox tomorrow.  I’ll probably have a pile of bills waiting for me.

Neighbors.  My next door neighbors are interesting.  They refer to the fence we share as “their fence”.  They did put it up two years ago.  My lot was bare this whole time until I bought the lot.  When they heard my lot had been purchased, they found out what size home was being built on it.  They felt the house was too big for the lot and tried to put a stop to it…..unsuccessfully.  One day my parents were walking through the house while it was being built.  The neighbors were outside.  They got to talking and the neighbors toured the construction with my parents.  They made more than one critical comment about various things I had in my plan, such as a window in my bathroom, a doorway without a door, the man door I was putting in the garage.  Needless to say, they always have a smile on their face, but I know they are thinking something else inside their crazy little heads.

 

I don’t let these neighbors bother me, or my crazy ant visitors, or my tall, wet grass…but I am glad I will start getting mail.  This house is my dream home.  Just what I always pictured in my head, not that I spent a lot of time picturing myself divorced and living on my own.  I won’t sweat the small stuff.   I continue to hold my head up high, even if my insides have no idea what to do.  And I have to remember it’s okay to make a phone call every now and then for help.

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Welcome Back to SparklyBecky

Welcome back to me!  I have been off this blog for 9 months and what a  nine months it has been.  Highs and lows of divorce, dealing with an ex who is nice when you are doing things his way and a jerk when you aren’t.  I think someone forgot to tell him that once you’re divorced, the ex wife can do what she wants.  He can’t control her anymore.

I went back and browsed the few posts I did write way back, one was about deciding where to live.  I ended up and rented a house.  I’m so glad I did, it was a great transition home while deciding where I wanted to live.  I’m excited to say that in February I bought a lot in a subdivision and started planning the building of a brand new house.  My motto was “out with the old and in with the new”.  Two weeks ago we moved into our brand new home.  I got a new bed, new sectional couch, new dining room table, new beds for the kids, and even some new dishes.  I erased as much as I could of the past.  Do I sound bitter?  I don’t mean too.  I guess I still weave through the stages of grief, but I truly am happy…..a little lonely sometimes.  I’ve done a little dating, but I’ll save those stories for another time.

As a teacher school is out at the end of this week.  I’m looking forward to yoga, walking, jogging, tennis, working in my yard, exploring some new recipes in my new kitchen……and anything else interesting that comes along my way.  I hope to blog and post pictures within this online journal not only for me, but anyone else who happens along it’s path. 

As the end of the first year of divorce draws slowly near (just 2 months away), I look forward to seeing what else is in store for sparklybecky.

 

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