adjusting to what life has sent my way, while rediscovering who i am

Power of Prayer

Since my husband and I decided to divorce, well, actually, since I knew we were having problems and there might be a divorce, I have leaped into my spiritual side of focusing on God, prayer, faith, Bible reading, and anything else I can hold onto that has a spiritual element.  Even though my husband and I believe in God, it wasn’t an area we focused on as much as we should have.  If we had, just maybe our marriage would have taken a different path.

Quick side note that I may expound on in another post, we are not divorcing because of any immoral acts, infidelity, or adultery.  Believe it or not, but after 23 years of marriage and three kids, we just didn’t know each other well enough.  You would have thought we would have figured that out a long time ago, or at least knew each other well enough by now.  But like I said, I’ll save that story for another day.

I have never felt I was good at prayer.  I wasn’t confident in how to pray.  The main problem was I just didn’t do it enough.  Prayer is like anything, you have to practice it.  There don’t have to be any rules or formality.  What I discovered in this whole mess of a life I found myself in, was that all God wanted was for me to talk to him, just like I would talk to a friend.

The biggest impact on my faith was when I started having prayers answered.  I have never not  believed in prayer, but I had an Aha moment this past June that has strengthened my belief and made me much more conscious of daily (or I should be honest and say, almost daily)  prayer for myself and others.

The Aha Moment:  I have been taking Hot Yoga classes this summer.  During class the instructor always talks about breathing your problems out past the edges of your mat, even breathing them outside the door.  I haven’t mastered this yet.  As soon as she brings up problems to breathe away, all of my problems come to mind.  One day, towards the end of class, I started thinking about all the crap my husband and I were going through.  Tears came to my eyes, mixing in with the sweat dripping down my face.   By the time I was in the car to drive home, I had an enormous amount of anger in my heart toward my husband.  I felt so weighted down with anger, I didn’t know what to do.   I cried my eyes out, and then somehow I just started praying, practically screaming to the Lord ,and I begged Him to take my anger away.  The most amazing thing happened.  Within nanoseconds I had no anger.  In fact, I had such peace within, I almost wondered why I was wiping tears from my eyes.  God not only answered my prayer, He did it practically while I was praying.

Now, I have never doubted there was a  God, but at that moment, my belief was confirmed.  Since then, I have experienced other answers to prayer.  The Lord has been quick to answer, and I know that won’t always be the case.  I am currently in a Bible study, studying Nehemiah.   During his life, he once had to wait four months for a prayer to be answered.  Now, I am one who likes quick responses, but I know I must be faithful in prayer and God will answer when His time is right.  I am so thankful for all He has answered so far, and I will continue to pray steadfastly and earnestly in all things.

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