adjusting to what life has sent my way, while rediscovering who i am

What’s in a Name??

When you get divorced, what do you do with your last name?  Keep your married name or go back to your maiden name?   Many women keep their married name because they have children and it makes it less confusing for the kids.  Some decide to go back to their maiden name, or I suppose you could do a hyphenated name, but if so, you probably would have done that when you got married.

There is actually a third option, which is to create a new last name.  This is the option I chose.  I didn’t want to keep my married name as I don’t feel I am that person anymore.  I do have three kids, but they are older and I don’t think it will effect them.  I think I would have made the same decision if my kids were younger.  I didn’t want to go back to my maiden name because I am not that person anymore either.

My counselor suggested creating a new last name, something that describes who I really am, not the “down and out depressed, because my life has turned up-side-down” me.  I googled name changes on the internet and found similar information.  So I thought about it and brainstormed names.  I mentioned it to my daughter to see what she thought and she was very supportive of the idea.  So I thought some more.  I googled last names on the internet and tried my first name with each one.  I googled those I liked, both first and last name together, on the internet to see what came up and what kind of people may already have that name.

I narrowed it down to two names, Becky Sparks and Becky Diamond.  I thought Sparks, because I consider myself bright, sparkly, fun, and colorful like a firework.  In fact, Firework by Katy Perry is one of my favorite songs.  I’ve lived the down side of the song and am working my way toward staying on the up side.  I liked Diamond because it also shines and sparkles and I thought of the saying “a diamond in the rough”. defines it as Someone (or something) that has hidden exceptional characteristics and/or future potential, but currently lacks the final touches that would make them (or it) truly stand out from the crowd.  Well, I don’t want to continue to lack the final touches, I want to have them.  I think Becky Sparks has the final, sparkly touch and is ready to move forward and face life as it comes in a positive way.

However, when I first thought up Becky Sparks and tried it out loud, I have to be honest.  I thought it sounded like the name of a porn star.  My counselor assured me she didn’t think so.  Now that I’ve practiced the name several times and am using it in print I am getting use to it.  And I like it!!  It will not be official for a few more weeks, when the divorce is final.  When that happens, Becky Sparks I will officially be!!

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